Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Randomize