She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
