he wants to bone in the snuggie
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I am naked and annoyed.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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