So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
