do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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