So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
