Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Randomize
