you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
