Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
