You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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