I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
not ubering you a puppy
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
