I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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