we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
