I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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