My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize