I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Say something about gay babies.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
