it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
