he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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