I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize