This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
