if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize