i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
