mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
