when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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