My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
