her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
