i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
