I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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