Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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