How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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