you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
