And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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