I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
