thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
