Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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