We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
It was confusing and full of hummus
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
