hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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