The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
