Your face is a jimmy john
I'm jealous of your bromance
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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