I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
