umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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