Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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