Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
