I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
