just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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