If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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