oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
