So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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