is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize