I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
