I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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