Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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