Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
