I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
