remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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