ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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