Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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