Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
