He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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