I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
