im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Green mimosas i think yes
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
