i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
