Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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