yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize