I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
is wine microwaveable?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
