the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
