One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize